I have this quote posted beside my bathroom mirror to help me have a healthy perspective. It’s to remind myself, that while I may feel like a mess, to God, I am a beautiful mess, I am His masterpiece, He created me, just the way that I am and for that reason, I am enough. 
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Writing is something that I have been drawn to do from quite a young age. I remember the very first journal I received. It was a little white book with a silver lock and key. I remember the thrill of documenting my days and keeping them locked away in a secret place that was just for me. That little book of childhood memories turned into stacks of wire ringed notebooks filled with with pages of teenage thoughts, feelings, poetry and prayers. It was a safe place for me to express and process life. I was writing my story and I didn't even realize it.

While there have been seasons of my life during which I have stopped jouranling, the better part of my life has been documented on paper. It's one of the very few things that I have been  consistent with. I think that's because, it's not something that I feel obligated to do...it's something that I feel compelled to do. I write to make sense of my thoughts, experiences and emotions and to remind myself of truth when I find myself slipping into negative patterns of thinking. It comes naturally to me and has always been very personal. I do remember enjoying reading and writing essays in school and getting fairly decent grades, but never did I consider writing as a career path or "gifting" that God may call me to share with anyone but myself. It wasn't until I was in my early 20's and going through recovery from a destructive relationship, that I first was inspired to write for someone else. I remember feeling a deep sense, that one day, I needed to write a book and that thought scared me...

 This morning was one of those mornings. In fact this week was one of those weeks. Heck it's been a month and a lifetime if I really think about it. That's not to say that I don't see the good in each day...most days... and the blessings in disguise cause I absolutely do. I have much to be grateful for... even if it's just the lessons I have learned through the difficulties I have faced.

Looking back and being grateful for what God has done in my life gives me HOPE for the future but lately I feel like I have begun to lose sight of that HOPE and forgotten to praise and worship Him when I don't feel like it.

I am continually amazed at how God speaks directly into the inner workings of my heart, through pretty much anything, and ties things together to say exactly what I need to hear at just the right moment, even though I haven't necessarily even voiced my particular struggles to anyone at the time. 

That is the beauty of relationship with a the Living God.

So yesterday was Sunday and the message at my home church was all about Faith, Hope and Love and how they work TOGETHER. Most people have heard that Love is the greatest of the three and but I have never really realized the significance of losing HOPE and how it can actually threaten the loss of both Faith and Love. In Fact, may be the is the very reason why our HOPE seems to be under such attack!
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